I’ve come up with a list of reasons why people gossip. Here’s what I have so far:

1. Gossiping makes you feel better;
2. Gossiping about other people takes attention away from what is wrong with your own life;
3. Gossiping helps people bond (temporarily);
4. Gossiping makes you feel powerful;
5. Gossiping turns a boring conversation into something interesting which gives you attention for the time being;
6. Gossiping makes you feel better about decisions you’ve made and are trying to justify them to yourself;
7. Gossiping about others gives you a sense of superiority….

That’s what I’ve come up with so far, but I think we can actually add to that list.

Brown Aunties and Gossip

Now this brings me to a topic which I am sure has affected a lot of people. Brown aunties gossiping. Why the heck do these aunties do it? Don’t they have something better to do with their time? Well, the answer to that is simply “no, they don’t”.

A lot of the time brown aunties will talk about other people’s kids by making defamatory comments etc. The only thing they are doing is trying to make themselves feel better about their own children’s “deviant” behaviour. (That’s a whole other topic in itself). Gossiping gives them a sense of security in trying to protect their own “reputations”. I bet lots of you have encountered this. It can start with these mean aunties talking about people and saying things like, “I saw their kid at the mall and he/she was sitting in the food court with a bunch of kids”. Then they go further and state, “I would never let my kid do that.” So the gossiping goes on. This is a relatively simple example, which lots of brown kids have encountered.

So if we take the list above and try to put it in this context, we can see why these aunties may pull crap like this (and worse). The whole idea of making yourself feel better by putting down someone else comes into play here. Especially from a cultural perspective, “respect” is something that is held in high esteem. By gossiping, a lot of people think they are maintaining some sort of warped sense of respect by putting down others to confirm to themselves that they are better somehow.

I have more thoughts on this topic, and I’ll write more eventually, but that’s it on gossiping for now.

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Applying mehndi when I was little was a really fun event. When I was growing up, mehndi cones were not readily available in Toronto, so every Eid our mom would mix the mehndi and apply to our awaiting hands with a toothpick.

I bet some of you remember that very well! My absolute favourite design was a chanda mama with a star. (chand is the moon, chanda mama is the kiddy way of referring to the moon). So my mom would make this really cool moon and star design, which I thought was the awesomest thing, and I would be a happy little camper.

To this day, no Eid is complete without mehndi and I always run out the the desi store to buy a cone…(they are everywhere now) and put henna on my hands. I just love it! Of course I don’t make the star and moon anymore…I have evolved with the selection of patterns. LOL. I think why I love applying mehndi to my hands on Eid is the anticipation of having a joyous celebration. It is part of the anticipation, fun and excitement of enjoying the festivities and I have such wonderful memories attached with mehndi and Eid that it, (mehndi) has become a must for me on special occassions. Mehndi is simply beautiful and I just love it!

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Amitabh at this stage is doing some really good films, experimental ones, and he really excels in these roles. He was excellent in Sarkar and Baghban which showcased a different range of emotions. He really deserves accolades for the films he has done recently. But super-stardom…….is it deserved?

Now at this moment, yes definitely, but previously in the 70’s and 80’s, I’m not so sure. A lot of his films were multi-starrer ventures that had a big supporting ensemble. The role of the angry young man is what made him stand out, not his acting abilities/capabilities. I much preferred Shashi Kapoor in the movies they did together. What a dashing personality Shashi had. But at that time, the angry young man persona was well liked by the audience, because it was different to have shades of grey in a character that was not a villain but a pseudo hero.

So whether by chance or talent, it is arguable, Amitabh Bachchan became a Bollywood superstar. As I said, I quite enjoy his movies from the past few years and Amitabh has truly excelled in his roles. But I really don’t understand what was so special about his acting back then. Some of the 90’s movies are outright silly. But hey…What I consider silly may be awesome in someone else’s opinion. As for now…good job Mr. Bachchan! Keep the awesome work!

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It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged on the site. If anyone has any suggestions for desigupshup feel free to give us a shout!  Since I tend to be the sports writer I’ll get everyone in on the latest scoop that’s taken the whole cricketing fraternity by shock. Recently there was a terrorist attack in Lahore, Pakistan where the 3rd day’s play of the 2nd test match in a series of 2 was about to begin. The terrorists targeted the Sir Lankan cricket team and the attack was carried out somewhat successfully. A lot of the grenades thrown did not actually blow up, but several players, personnel and officials were injured. Injuries varied from just pieces of shrapnel to bullet wounds in the leg and chest. The driver carrying the officials died and one umpire was shot.

It was Team Pakistan’s luck that on this particular day their bus left 5 minutes later rather than together like they usually do or it might have been worse. I would say that this could be this a mere coincidence as luck was on their side that day. However let’s just quickly look at the trend from the past summer onwards in terms of security rated by the words of the Sri Lankan team personnel. The Asia Cup was held in Pakistan in the summer of ‘08 – great. The Sri Lankan team came for 3 ODIs in January – great (and this a direct result of India cancelling their series with us for security reasons after the Mumbai blasts). The 1st test of this series in Karachi – great. However when they came to Lahore, the security was quite different. So different that our own Imran Khan said and I quote: “The security provided to the Sri Lankan team was ten times less than what is given to interior ministry adviser Rehman Malik”

These are the facts and I am not going to be criticising anyone or anything here. What’s clear is that simply Pakistan messed it up. Why, we don’t know. However because of this little mishap no country will be visiting Pakistan for nearly 1-3 years potentially and that is if things get better. The people as always have been the ones to lose and no one else. The terrorists got their attention and they don’t even deserve it. Other security issues from back when Benazir was assassinated and onwards have resulted in Pakistan losing the Champions Trophy already, something that would have done Pakistan wonders on the world stage and financially.

So on a lighter side, I feel the there are a few music artists who are trying their best to try and do something about this. I will take Shehzad Roy’s example here. In his newest album: Qismat Apnay Haath Main, it is an album meant for the masses and youth love in Pakistan. He has released three videos so far, the first being Laga Reh – a very thought provoking song, second was Ek Baar – one of the love ballads in the album, Zindagi ft. Abida Perveen – beautiful music and video, was released long before the album as a special feature for Zindagi Trust (his philanthropic organization), and the newest one was for the title song Qismat Apnay Haath Main – very well written. I might also add that Shehzad Roy has penned the lyrics for nearly all the songs himself. This is the one I would like to showcase today! I would encourage all readers to see all the other videos I have mentioned here, as I’m sure you will like them like I did.

It really makes you think doesn’t it!

I’ll write back soon…Hassaan.

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Not to slight arranged marriage at all for those people who are happy and enjoying their lives. Marriage is a gamble, be it ‘arranged’ or ‘love’ (as us brown people like to call it). But why hide a love marriage and pretend it’s arranged? I don’t see the point in that. Most people don’t like to carry the torch and break new ground, but what is the point in marrying someone of your own choice and then pretending it is an arranged marriage? The shame, fear, and stigma of being labeled ‘bad’ or ‘of questionable character’ is still holding a lot of young people hostage. What exactly is the crime here?

Just some food for thought. I would honestly like to know how people feel about this. Why is that fear of other people so strong, that people guide their behaviour according to it? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Thought I’d throw that out there and get into the topic in further detail at a later time. It’s just interesting to think about. Some people just like to say ‘oh i don’t care about other people’ but their actions don’t support their statements. I wonder why that is…? Let’s think about it, shall we?

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I think every family and every person has a different definition of what classifies abuse. This is largely related to the degree of discipline or abuse they have experienced in their own lives. But this can be very dangerous because what if you come from a family in which violence is a regular/normal thing then you may think it is a part of life? Scary thought. The smack on the buttocks is not just ended there, but instead is a ongoing and violent beating…very scary.

Since we are talking about this in a desi context, do you think it is taken as a ‘normal’ thing to slap your child in desi culture? Why?

What is violence about? It is about gaining control. If you can wrap your brain around that, then a lot of questions will be answered. If a child is bad, and you hit that child, what is being achieved in your mind? You are essentially trying to discipline that child into obedience. But what is the trade-off? You are nurturing a human being that thinks being pushed around is okay, and who will eventually be scared to stand up for themselves later in life in the face of dangerous/abusive situations.

Lets think about these things and share some thoughts. What is your opinion?

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The only good part of the film was watching Deepika Padukone in two different avatars, but that’s about it.

The film is about Akshay’s character who has a total lack of confidence. The first part was extremely boring. I couldn’t figure out if I am supposed to be interested or going to sleep. The character’s silliness and lack of confidence was stretched out unnecessarily to the point of being really annoying. The second part, after the intermission, was actually better than the first half with Akshay’s character finally getting off his butt and doing something. So for those of you who walked out before the intermission, you actually missed the bearable part of the film! (I know that is pretty pathetic).

Basically the script was lacking and the film was stretched on beyond what was necessary. Half of the first part of the movie could have easily been chopped. I can’t even bother getting into names of characters and so forth because it is almost pointless!

The music was disappointing as well, not living up to Akshay and Deepika standards of previous films. That said, I don’t think we can blame the actors for this failure. The script really sucked, and they really should have cut out a lot of scenes that were simply a waste of time.

Verdict: Don’t even bother watching on DVD.

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Here in Toronto, we’ve been hit by a snow storm, and I think it’s the first time in a very long time that all of Canada will be covered with snow on December 25^th. People just assumed that because we are in Canada, we are walking knee deep in snow everyday. No way! Heck, we don’t know what to do when it snows like this!

The good thing is that we get a long weekend this year, and I am looking forward to that. Wishing you all a wonderful holiday, good food, happy times, and lots of fun.

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The story is about Chand, played by Preity Zinta, who immigrates to Canada to marry Rocky in an arranged marriage. Although Rocky’s parents are the ones who selected Chand, Rocky’s mother is worried that she is losing control over her son, and uses guilt and provocation to retain perceived control over her son.

Chand is thrust into a world of violence and hardship. She escapes into her own imagination to deal with the suffering and pain. She is surrounded by people, including her own family, that only care about their own benefit. At her inlaws home, everyone is part of the cycle of violence, control, and guilt which makes everyone think that this is just a normal part of life.

Heaven on Earth is a beautiful, yet painful story that is a reflection of what is happening in the immigrant desi community in the GTA.  It is definitely worth watching, but be prepared to be disturbed by what you see.  Deepa Mehta hits the nail on the head and paints a very accurate and true picture with Heaven on Earth. It is truly a magnificent film, and is a real eye opener for every one of us.

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Sometimes, people will be sitting with their hat or a cup extended out, asking for change. People walk by and every now and then I hear the occasional “why don’t they just get a job” from people passing by. Well, if it were that easy to get a job, have a nice little place to live that was warm in the winter and cool in the summer, wouldn’t that be great?

But the reality is that we do have poverty in Toronto. Yes, we do. It is also in the GTA and guess what…it’s all over Canada! Shocked? Really now, you didn’t think that just because you might not see poverty smack in front of your face that it didn’t exist?! Well, if you’re one of those people then I guess the lawmakers and corporations have succeeded in convincing people that poverty is not a major issue in Canada. Heck, they would love to have you think it doesn’t even exist! I must say they are darn good at it, because so many people these days have an “I don’t care about anyone except myself” attitude that it is getting easier to make everyone live in their own bubble, oblivious to what is going on around them.

Here begins the project to hiding homelessness. What…? Hiding homelessness? Poverty? What does all of this mean? In a ‘developed country’ we love to think that these problems don’t exist. They do exist. Yes, right here, in our very own city and throughout the rest of our country.

I must have shocked a few of you. This might be a bit difficult for some people to swallow. No, I am not being sarcastic. Seriously. But what was the point of writing this blog post giving a mention to homeless people and poverty?

Well for starters, I didn’t want to shock you with the bare facts right away about the socio-economic conditions of the poor in Canada. That might make your heart sink or put you in denial.

How does this blog post make you feel? What do you think about poverty and the homeless in Canada? How do you feel when you see a person sleeping on the street? Let’s start with that…just think about how it makes you feel. Do you feel bad, good, or indifferent? Why do you feel whatever particular way you do?

I’ll post more on a later date, and slowly start broaching the issues of poverty and homelessness, but for now I just wanted to open up the topic so we can all start thinking about it.

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